You won't believe the reactions when you tell people you're going to a marriage conference..."Are y'all ok...?" Um...yeah. We've got our issues, but after 8 years of marriage, we needed to do something to refresh things. And we've never spent the night away together since before Macy was born.
The conference was also held at a local fancy resort so that sold us as well. And after initially reading the itinerary, on Saturday night was "date night" where the last session ends at 4:45. Then we would have the the rest of the night to go out on a date. And the last session of the day was called "Marriage After Dark." Gregg was like "book it!!"
My mom and Earnie came to our house to watch the girls for the weekend. Gregg and I left at about 2 for the 3pm check-in. As we were driving over to Grapevine (about 30min), we were all silent. I asked Gregg if that was weird that we weren't talking. He reminded me that we had spent 20+ hrs in the car together over the past week (and the whole week together).
But you always here about people who don't have anything to talk about when the kids go to college. I'm like, "oh crap, we're 5min. down the road and silence!" No really, it was just nice to be able to look out the window and "be". No, adjusting the movie, the volume, digging snacks out, passing out sippy cups and finding toys.
After the 3pm hotel and then the seminar check-in, we bolted out of the hotel for a meal at the Macaroni Grill. Sure we could've eaten at the hotel, but we knew we'd eat two meals there on Saturday, so let's go off to do something different. Let me tell you how nice it was not to cut up anyone's food or get the check as soon as the food comes to the table. I also loved not rushing through a meal and even, (gasp!) ordering dessert! And looking across the table and breaking bread (literally) with my handsome husband wasn't bad either...
The seminar didn't start until 7 so we had plenty of time to roam around looking through the books set up at the resource center outside the banquet room. As I didn't have enough cheese already in the cheesecake I devoured, let me tell you what was playing in the background:
~ You're Still The One by Shania Twain
~ Faithfully by Journey
~ something by Nat King Cole
~ You Are The Sunshine of My Life
~ My Girl
~ plenty of James Taylor
Of course, I had to run into the seminar room, find my seat and my Ultra Fine Point Black Sharpie and start jotting down the titles in my seminar book. All for the blawg.
Obviously, I was in the right frame of mind to start the "Why Marriages Fail" session.
The only downside to the weekend was the seminar started at 8:30 on Sat. and 9:00 on Sunday. Something about having to wake up before 9 when the kids aren't there is W.R.O.N.G. So, Gregg got done getting ready first and went on ahead to get some coffee and grab us something for breakfast. I stuck around getting ready and rushing out the door so we could meet up to walk together for the "Unlocking the Mystery of Marriage" session. We were seated and about 30 minutes later, Gregg noticed something on me that surprised him.
This is my necklace that I love that has the girls on one side and Gregg on the other. I only have worn Gregg on Valentine's Day, our anniversary, and now on this day. On all the other days, he remains "closest to my heart."
For lunch we at at the Riverwalk Cafe buffet. And nothing says lunch like: pancakes, mashed potatoes, a sandwich wrap, shrimp and cookies. Then we headed up to our room to freshen up. In my case, brush my teeth.
I also had bacon for lunch.
A sweet couple at the elevator were trying to take each other's picture. I realized that we hadn't taken any pics yet either. So, I volunteered to take hers and she took ours. I didn't either bother to fix the red eyes b/c they just seem to match the hunk of bacon between my teeth.
So after reviewing the picture on my camera, I decided we should not embarrass ourselves any further. We did one of those hold-out-the-camera-and-smile pics. During the photo session, we realized in the 11 yrs together, we've never done one of those. I can't say enough how a fresh coat of powder and lipstick does wonders.
The conference was a great basis to build our relationship. Frankly, we've been "winging it" for 8 years. Gregg and I didn't grow up with parents who reflected God in their relationships with each other or with their children. We grew up with that but when we got married, we knew we wanted to raise our children differently. But how?
Now we have some tools. Here are some notes and quotes that stuck out for us:
~Love is unconditional, not performance based. (ouch)
~ Rejecting your spouse in any way is rejecting God.
~ Walking in the path to oneness requires faith in God.
~ Love won't keep us together, but commitment will.
~ Say 5 positives for every negative.
~ To avoid conflict is to avoid reality.
We had the best time and hated to leave. It is hard to come back to reality and keep these tools in check. But, we are making a point to get out conference manuals to hash and refresh. We are a work in progress but our hearts and desires are in the right place ~ to have the marriages that our parents didn't, to model oneness with God, and to build a Godly legacy in our children.
"And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever."
John 14:16
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